Are The Kids Alright
Musings from the Valley, Remembering Leelah Alcorn. Trans/Intersex...
I normally write in my notes app on the iPad. Today I am sitting at my office desk in the sunroom at the side of the house. From my window I can see the front lawn and the busy street on the other side.
No sooner than I have settled in, a couple of young deer speed past my window on their way to the back yard and the woods beyond. They come up from the river to cross the road. Every time I see one of them I hold my breath until they are safely across. Coming or going it doesn't matter. We are on a busy street where traffic is high and people rarely obey the speed limit.
Our little village is politically right wing conservative, yet our congressman is a Democrat. This is thanks to the ridiculously gerrymandered districts in our state. They redrew our lines a few years ago, thinking ( I guess) that by including our area north of Cincinnati, it would automatically guarantee them a seat in congress. That didn’t work out as our congressman is in his second term, having beat out his right wing opponent twice. He is a moderate who sometimes panders to the right as in his disappointing vote to deny healthcare for trans kids and now his lukewarm response to voters on the current state of the union. I am not a fan, but am grateful (so far) that he hasn’t turned on Ukraine or sent flowers to Putin.
The interesting thing about living in a small village is that nothing is truly black and white. right or left, etc. People of all persuasions live here and that includes everyone from die hard Trumpies, to Furries, LGBTQ, People of ALL colors, Moderates, Bleeding Heart Liberals and everything in-between.
I tend to fall on the side of treating people with respect in regards to all of those things that usually divide us. Lately I have been furious about how the right has taken a stand against intersex/trans people and particularly children. Putting targets on their backs and stirring up hate within their base of supporters.
I am also furious that physicians have chosen to stay silent and let the ignorance spread through our land like a plague. Intersex births are on average 1.7% of the population, and can be in a wide range of variables. People who are born with a gender anomaly have no control over this, just as a person with blue eyes can not change the color to brown or green.
Imagine if it were suddenly illegal to have blue eyes, or be targeted as not human enough if you had them. Imagine an entire political party passing laws against having blue eyes. Imagine also that you are a person with blue eyes and a group of brown eyed bullies backed you into an alley and beat you to death because of those eyes.
This is what is happening in our country.
But you may say wait a minute. Trans people are not intersex because the definition places them with traditional gender markers such as XX and XY, due to the gender assigned at birth. They are only choosing to change genders on a whim.
But are they.
What if the birth identification is wrong. What if they are only male or female on the outside. What if they have different markers. Babies are not given gender marker (genetic testing) tests at birth, Doctors assign gender based on their genitals.
If they “LOOK” male, its a boy, if they LOOK female, its a girl.
Unless there is a visible anomaly to suggest further testing or corrective surgery, no testing is done.
If everything looks good on the outside, they are all set to go.
It doesn’t matter that this could all be wrong. That a child could fall through the cracks so to speak.
That being, we are now living in a country where these children are targeted, bullied, ostracized and persecuted. Their parents are not supported, they are denied medical care and are even denied the right to use a public restroom, play sports, and/or participate in life, be an equal citizen under the law, protected under the law, or just be a kid.
“People who are intersex may have a mix of chromosomes, such as XXY. Or they may have some cells that are XY and some cells that are XX. Or they may have just one X chromosome (XO). Other combinations.” Cleveland Clinic
The main reason that this is such a big issue for me is how cruel and evil it is. Just yesterday an artist I know stopped by my studio. We were looking at my recent work and I explained that the double XX symbols in some of my paintings represented the female gender markers. A statement that says that women matter. I also mentioned that I was starting to add other gender markers to my work to represent the diversity in gender that is the reality in our world. She then told me that her adult daughter was trans. We had a conversation about the current state of affairs and it was clear to me that I was on the right path. What I witnessed was a parent who loved and supported their child. A parent who, with an adult trans child went through the early years before our country decided to declare war on these kids. A time when doctors were more understanding and didn’t hesitate to work with families. A time when common sense, science and rational thinking meant something.
When I sat down to write this, I was gathering my notes and did not want to leave out the most defining aspect of this post.
The memory of Leelah Alcorn, the young trans girl who committed suicide because her family refused to support her. They were members of an extreme religious sect who sent their trans daughter to conversion therapy, religious psychotherapy and isolated her from her friends by taking away her access to the outside world. According to her mother at the time, being trans was against their religious beliefs. Imagine if her child’s eye color were considered an abomination.
The mother claimed to love her child, but clearly did not support her. I have often wondered whether or not they sought out medical advice of any kind. Did they take her in for gender identity testing, for chromosome markers, internal anomalies etc. or were they just saying no because of their beliefs. Were they anti-medicine, science etc. Why did they not seek outside help, consult “real” professionals and not just people who had the same biases and beliefs.
That was back in 2014, before our current state of affairs. It was also a time when I was driving into the city to my studio. I would drive that same stretch of highway where Leelah took her own life. For months I would get all choked up as I approached that spot. The senselessness of it all. Even now I am having a hard time thinking about it without tearing up.
Not much has changed since 2014, at least in how certain groups within our society like to demonize and bully while claiming to be righteous and holy.
We have an entire political party demonizing children for how they were born, and a medical community who are choosing to keep their mouths shut instead of educating the public about the diversity of human gender markers.
State after state are introducing bills and passing laws against children. Telling enormous lies to scare people into hating their own neighbors and family members.
Not because they believe any of their own rhetoric, but because it keeps the people fighting amongst themselves. The same way they screech and caw about afterbirth abortions. The outrage is the point.
Its a distraction from the reality that they have nothing to offer. Nothing of substance, nothing helpful.
We, the citizens of the world need to take a step back and look long and hard at how rapidly we are becoming a country, a planet of despicable people, as Hilary Clinton in her assessment of Donald Trump remarked, “could be triggered by a tweet.” We need to stop. Just full stop.
We also need to speak with facts and authority when politicians and pundits, newspapers and infotainment outlets use divisive language to enrage us. Because rage cannot think clearly, it is a distortion, it is reckless and it is out in full force, plotting against everything we hold dear.
It is the duty of a people to call out the disinformation. Every time the lie is told, it must be challenged. Not with cartoonish outrage and bravado, but with calm and control. Be the adults in the room, unwavering, with presence and confidence. Be the advocate for the children, all of them. Be the advocate for those without a voice. Be loud, constant and persevering. Always.